Life with Allison

Our family's journey with a special needs child

Bittersweet goodbyes

on August 2, 2013

We said goodbye to our respite nurse today. 😦 For those of you who don’t know what respite is, it is when a nurse comes in and takes care of an individual with medical needs to let the caretakers to have some leisure time. Basically, they babysit while you get a break. Its really nice to know that the person watching whomever is qualified and had training in handling your specific medical needs. Not to mention the relief you get to walk away for a few hours.

When our nurse came to watch Ally, I often took Emma and Chloe out to do something fun. Something we normally couldn’t do with Ally because she can’t handle it or she can’t last long at. This would include going to parks, swimming, shopping, bounce houses, visiting friends, etc. I always felt bad leaving Ally behind but there is something to be said for recharging the batteries. I’m not a robot.

It was bittersweet to say goodbye today. Bitter for losing someone Ally looks for, a friend, someone who has become a constant. Sweet for finally reaching a point that we no longer NEED someone to watch over her. It is not what it used to be 2 years ago and this Joe and I are very grateful for.

So if I were to write a goodbye letter to our nurse, it would go something like this:

Dear Pau-ween 🙂  –

                It was very hard for me to allow a stranger into my home and watch over Ally 2 years ago. I knew I needed the help, but its hard as a momma to let go and allow someone else to take over. Hell, it took me years to relax and let my own husband do some things! But 2 years later, we are at a completely different place.

                You have left footprints in our lives, memories and hearts. I remember the first time you saw Ally have a seizure. It really shook you up. You gave me a hug and said God bless me for dealing with the medical hardships our family was enduring. Because at that time, it WAS very hard. I remember you talking about rocking her to sleep. How great it was when you came back from vacation and she ran into your arms and gave you her big bear hugs! Ally loves you.

                You shared our joys and our pains. You watched Ally progress and take steps backwards. You’ve been there to witness us finally finding a successful medicine! It only took us 5 years!! You were the encouragement that pushed me over the edge to seek our soon to be new service dog, Perry. You watched all the work that went into that too. You saw us find a new house. Lord knows how badly we needed that! I cried on your shoulder. You wiped my tears.

                So thank you. Thank you for everything.

 

‘Much’ love,

Becky

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3 responses to “Bittersweet goodbyes

  1. Millicent Meadway says:

    So sweet! You have been blessed in many ways Becky. I can only imagine how hard it has been for your family. To allow someone into your life to watch and learn to love your daughter Im sure was hard. I can only imagine how this letter would make Pau-ween feel. Good luck with Percy and God bless. 🙂

  2. Candace says:

    Tears….. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve gone through and continue to go through. You are an amazing mother and amazing advocate for Ally! God bless you and your family Becky.

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